if i could tell you i would let you know
the caas round one was- as expected- nicht se gut. i dont think i will have a very good time with the 'corporate' ish scholarships [like sia, cpf] cause of art history. no idea why im makign life hard for myself either.
it struck me more, though, how private my life these two years has been. at the place today one of the other candidates asked to read my testimonial, and you could dismiss it as a natural guardness arising out of the competitive tension, but i do think its more than that.
this is my stumbling block, you see: my emotions. in part i can identify with G. Greene's Scobie-- money and power don't mean anything, but i could sell out for a soppy note. When faced with the request, i was instinctively affronted.. i mean, its not like theres anythign wrong with asking, but then the testimonial in question is intensely personal- and how can anyone even guess the experiences behind the words- how can anybody understand it with a flippant reading; how can anybody understand... okay here is where my words run dry.
meanwhile: OMG I MISSED OUT ON THE TEN BUCKS THREADLESS SPREE! all the ones on sgspree are closed!!!! am annoyed. AH WELL the napoleon tee is OOS anyway> HMPF
mellie contemplated 6:21 PM
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