Saturday, October 15, 2005

i wish sometimes i was that idealistic girl that i was way back, who believed that good wishes and attempts made could heal, and that you could and should speak your mind because making things clear would make it easier to see all the cracks, and then it would be easy to acknowledge and understand them and then take steps to smooth things out nicely again.

sometimes i wish i was as bold as before, to have enough courage to say everything that i felt and thought online; to make it known to the people i felt hurt by, or about something i resented, or etc. all that ive known has taught me that only superficiality is tolerated- keeping up a lightly musing and humourous posting and never letting the deeper feelings show. even when it comes to people that matter nothing pays. its just not worth it to care. it would be so much easier, so much cleaner to be a machine.


mellie contemplated 11:56 PM
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